Security of Insecurity

When we discussing insecurity, what does come to mind?
Your downside? your disgrace? your fear?
Let me conclude all that comes up in your mind are about negativity.

I see insecurity as me looking at the window, seeing the scenery of the outside world from my desolate and lonely apartment. Looking at the children playing in the city park, pedestrians walking along the pavement, & birds soaring the sky. My favorite sight is looking at the pedestrian walking along the pavement. Some of them talked to each other while walking, some walk hurriedly, some walk slowly enjoying their journey, some are busy with their phone, either calling someone or just browsing the internet. I’d like to imagine myself being in their shoes. Sometimes I live worriedly, other times I live in the moment, enjoying my life. I can only do and realized that by looking at them because if I stay still, scared of my window that shows the outside world, I will only live imperfectly.

On the other hand, my insecurity also emerge when interacting with people, just like ocean waves showering shore with the ocean’s trash. But when I was alone hibernating, those dark thought washed away from the shore, nowhere to be found until I intentionally swim and bring it myself, which I do sometimes if the thought was (i think) very valuable to be lost & forgotten.

By being able to be insecure, im secured to ensure that my life is not as perfect as i thought and with that in mind i can do something with my life. But life is fair and balanced, by being insecure also makes me down. Sometimes in the middle of joy, insecurity perch to the branch of my thought tree. Dooming my joy, replacing it with dark thoughts.

Enjoying yourself blindly will not creating insecurity until you go outside and become whole again to see the bigger picture, which sometimes i must do to prevent myself from drowning by narrow viewpoint of life, also as an encourager to step upward. All i have to do is being the one in control to avoid being overthinking and depressed.
That’s my security system for my insecurity, I was very proud of my system, what about you? mind to share yours?

Related posts:

I have been asked regarding placement preparation for analytics/coding roles multiple times now. I suppose it is a good idea to pen down the path I followed. Before that, a short introduction of…

In the previous article, we saw how to create your first Jenkins job to execute the a selenium script through Jenkins. You can read that article Here Please go through above article as we will be…

The fact that it is August 1st is perhaps a good time to think about time. Jan 1st 2020 is now closer than Jan 1st 2019 was — when the year felt so new, hopes abound, resolutions to do more of good…